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Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Whenever I talk to you, I just fall in love all over agaaaain.
I feel like I'm floating now. I had a tad convo with bugs bunny. HAHA. Nothing, we just teased each other again and still it feels great. Nothing has change, he was makulet still and bolero. And it seems like even at this time I get carried away of how he utter his words.. and I hate it, seriously. But I do miss those times badly. I miss my chum. Even though we had the shortest time to be together, yet the feeling I have for that idiot remains the longest.
Whenever his thoughts pester me, tears I have just rain down knowing that, IT'S DONE. It's clear to me that.. if someone fooled you, you must not make them feel the pain that you've been through because it's not their fault that you've been left behind And maybe that's why I feel guilty these days.. that someone could really get hurt if I broke up instantly just because I made him a rebound to forget what happened in the past.
It's a big mistaaaaake.
I shouldn't done that attitude, to be selfish in the first place and I should have just dumped myself on this chaos alone so no one will get hurt besides me. Losing someone you really love is a big failure on one's life I guess. cause that's the way I feel about it. I thought that I have already conquered his heart, but I was so assuming.. and probably that's reason why I was hurt too much.
There are things that I wanted to discuss with him like.. to say sorry about the last thing we've argue about. I know I made him so disappointed but I dont know if he had forgiven me at this moment. I also find ways how to say "thank you" for making me tougher and built a grown-up me.
Honestly I lost my path when we parted. I dont know, but the courage to be strong for things and everything is totally gone. I mean, all the strengths Ive got is from him and now that his no longer mine, I dont know how to overcome something without him behind me. All is deflected.. I wish everything got fixed that time so I wouldnt lose him. I question Him Above, Lord nagmahal lang naman po ako. Bakit kelangan kong magdusa? :(
I felt really bad to think that all I can do now is to breathe deep.. and just let go of the memories. I just miss everything we had before. Every word he says.. every words he emit when his mad.. every hugs he made.. everything. Man, i miss those.
